One Week After Surgery

October 5th, is a very important anniversary date for me. In August 2011, at age 46, I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it to my 47th birthday in November. But I did, and now I get to tell my story and tell you why your support is very important to me and others.

On August 8th, 2011, a 4.5cm tumor was discovered on my right kidney. A week later, I was diagnosed with Renal Cell Carcinoma. On October 5th, 2011, I underwent a full removal of my right kidney along with the Cancer. The surgery was 100% successful and the prognosis for living a full life is very good. Fortunately, my Cancer was detected before it had spread and was contained solely within the kidney. Others that I have met that are dealing with or have dealt with Cancer haven’t been as fortunate.

I have asked myself many times, “Why me”? Not from the perspective of why did I get Cancer, but why was I spared from so many terrible things? I have thanked God many times over, but I am still in search of answers to some questions. Why did He spare me from chemo and not others? Why did He spare me from pain and not others? Why did He spare me from death at that time and not others? I have been reflecting back to when all of this started for clues to try to gain a better understanding. What was I doing? Where was my life headed? What path was I on? It should be noted, that as I was writing this article, a close friend of mine pointed out that I will never fully know the reasons, not in this lifetime anyway.

DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE COMING

In June of 2010 I decided to work on getting into a little better physical shape. I wasn’t terribly out of shape, but at 5’8″, 175 pounds was too much. I wanted to get closer to 160 pounds, a very comfortable weight for me, and I set my target date of November 25, 2010 (my birthday) to hit that weight. I started dieting, well my version anyway! I started taking Healthe’ Trim, the High School Skinny pill! I also began doing push-ups and crunches and it was working. By the time November 25th rolled around and I stepped on the scale, I weighed exactly 160.0 pounds! I did it! But, somewhere between all of the push-ups, crunches, and golf I was playing, I strained an oblique muscle in my lower left ribcage area. Although it was annoying, I didn’t think much of it at the time. As the months progressed, the muscle strain or pull wasn’t getting any better. Around the end of July 2011 after a weekend golf tournament, I decided to get my side looked at. Yes, almost 6 months later, I finally called a doctor friend of mine, Dr. Hiler, and told him what had been going on. He scheduled me the next day for an ultrasound on my abdomen and also a chest x-ray. I remember that day because I was impressed by how quickly he made things happen! I remember the technician that performed the ultrasound too. I remember her because she seemed to be in a very bad mood that day. As I was laying there as she was conducting the test I recall thinking, great, this is just a huge waste of time, because she’s not even looking in the right place! I thought she had misread the order. She looked at my left side and my left abdomen for just a couple of minutes as I was lying flat on my back. Then she rolled me over onto my left side and spent quite of bit of time looking at my right side, from front to back, over and over, stopping occasionally to make a couple of quick clicks of the computer mouse. I didn’t say anything; I just let her go about her work.

She finally finished, I thanked her and I went home with the thought that it all had seemed like a waste of time. The next morning I received a phone call from Dr. Chris Hiler. I know it was a quick turnaround, but it’s nice to have Doctor’s as friends! He ordered the results as STAT! He informed me that the ultrasound disclosed a slight oblique muscle separation on my left side that would heal over time and also that the technician along with the radiologists that read the ultrasound had spotted a 4.5cm tumor on my right kidney. He actually eased into that news by asking me if I was experiencing any pain in my lower right back, if I had noticed any change in needing to urinate, or if I had noticed any blood in my urine. I answered no to those three questions, reiterating to him that my pain was strictly on my left front just to the left of my lower ribcage. Then he delivered the news. I could tell it was hard for him because he knew me probably more personally than other patients because of our relationship. That’s when he told me what the test results showed and his recommendation was that I see my Urologist immediately. I told him I knew exactly who to call and I thanked him. Having his personal cell phone, he told me to call him at any time day or night with any questions. He apologized for the news. Needless to say, I didn’t see that one coming.

THE LESSON

I sat back, numb for a minute and thought. Well what do you know? That technician did know what she was doing! When I thought she was terrible at her job because she had spent 10 minutes on my right side, she was actually, “marking” the tumor. I’ve seen the ultrasound, and I still can’t see the tumor!

From that day forward, I have always given everyone the benefit of the doubt if they are in a bad mood, in a hurry, cut me off, or cut in line. EVERYONE is entitled to have a bad day and everyone is entitled to have something going on in their life that I don’t know about! Unless you know someone personally, you can never know what is going on in their life. So, yeah, they get a free pass from me.

FRIENDS

I phoned another friend, Kelly, who is the Office Manager for a very well-known Urologist group, Scottsdale Center for Urology. I told her what was up, and she scheduled me to see Dr. Robert Shapiro. He reviewed the initial ultrasound and x-ray and then ordered a CT scan and said he’d call me when he had the results.

A few days later, I get a call with a time to go visit him and review the results. I showed up alone, which I think was a little surprising to him. He asked if I had anyone that was coming and I said no. He gave the news. The news included the type of tumor I had, the size, that it looked contained to the kidney, and the probability of the tumor being cancerous. That probability was 95% based on the characteristics of the tumor. I asked what was next and he told me a full body CT scan was needed with some radioactive injection that would help see if the cancer had spread to any other organs, bones, or lymph nodes. Without a doubt, the most stressful week of my life waiting for those results. The results of that test came back negative. Finally, some good news, the cancer had not spread!

Because of where the tumor was, a biopsy was not the prudent thing to do. It would be too invasive. The tumor was growing from inside the middle of the kidney, centered across the renal vein and growing inward toward the liver and renal vein. Fear of increasing the risk of the tumor spreading due to its location ruled out the biopsy. Now the real decision: Partial or Full removal of the kidney? That one took a few days to think about. Full removal meant fewer complications, but also meant only having one kidney for the rest of my life. Partial removal meant more complications as there would be extensive reconstruction of the renal vein and then because of where the tumor was, it wasn’t really certain which half would be removed. The upside, I’d still have one full kidney and one partial kidney. I elected for the full removal to reduce complications. Just get it out of me was what I thought.

The night before surgery I did a lot of reflecting on my past, whether I would have a future, and everything in between. I wrote a couple of different letters, one that could be shared if I made it, and one that could only be read if I didn’t make it. The morning of surgery I handed those two letters to one of my best friends and told him I trusted him to do the right thing. Looking back, that was one heck of a responsibility I put on him, without even asking. I guess that’s how you know when you have a best friend. They will do anything for you. I didn’t place the burden of making life/death decision on him, although he could have handled it, but Dr. Shapiro and I discussed it and Dr. Shapiro said who better to make those decisions than your Doctor. Smart guy.

Surgery was on October 5, 2011. I was scared, but I’m pretty sure nobody knew that. I had had plenty of time to have conversation with family and friends, and keeping a positive attitude was important for me so they wouldn’t worry. I knew if I showed signs of weakness or signs of being scared that would only increase their anxiety level. So, for my own sanity, I faced the whole thing with such a positive attitude that I had no idea what impact it was having on friends and family. What I didn’t know was that my story was being shared by Family and Friends to others and to their Church Communities. Through my Mom, Sisters, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and Friends, there were a lot of people praying for me. I started receiving letters from people I didn’t even know letting me know they were praying for me and notes of inspiration. It was overwhelming and still is when I think about it. One of the most touching notes I received was from a fellow golfing buddy, Robert (Bob) Dietrich, who was part of Golfhub, a golf community I belong to. He had asked a mutual friend that worked there for my email address. Bob and I knew of each other, but hadn’t really every met. We’d acknowledge each other during golf tournaments, but that was about it. I had heard that Bob had recently been diagnosed with stomach cancer. His email to me was very sincere in offering me any advice I needed and opening a line of communication to him whenever I needed. The next golf tournament I saw him at, I went up and gave him a hug and thanked him. For the next few months following my surgery, we became known among the group as the Cancer Club Boys and would often get paired together to ride along in the same cart. Maybe everyone thought we were contagious! It saddens me to say, Bob Dietrich passed away on April 19, 2012. He is truly missed.

During our time together, he and I became very close. So close, that the morning of his funeral, I decided to ask his brother Tom, who is part of the Golfhub community as well, if I could say a few words at the funeral. The family had not intended to allow anyone other than his Brother to speak, but without hesitation, he said absolutely. I was honored. The funeral and stories shared were very touching. At the end, the funeral director came out to thank everyone for coming and provided directions to the gathering that was taking place at Bob’s local hangout. I just assumed they ran short of time and I wasn’t going to speak. His Brother Tom stood and said; wait just a moment, there’s a special friend of Bob’s that wants to say a few words and called me up. That meant a lot to me. I addressed his Mother and Family and gave my condolences. The primary point I wanted to make was to let everyone know the kind of man Bob was to people he hardly knew. I shared bits and pieces of the email Bob shared with me and the encouragement and strength I drew from him. I shared a little of my story, and apparently I concluded without telling everyone I was 100% cancer free. As I finished, everyone stood and was clapping and as I walked away, one of the Brother’s asked; so how are you doing? He said it loud enough to bring a stop to the applause and everyone waited for my answer. I returned to the microphone and let everyone know that my kidney and cancer had been removed in October of 2011 and I was 100% cancer free. I still see Tom at the Golfhub events and, well, the memory of Bob has forever been engraved into an annual golf event held by the members of the Arizona Golfhub Community. Below is Bob’s obituary.
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Dietrich, Robert Jerome
Robert Jerome Dietrich passed away April 19, 2012 in Mesa, AZ. Robert was born December 10, 1964 in Norfolk, VA to John Dietrich and Susanne Stuckey. Robert served his country for 9 years in the US Navy. He moved to Arizona in 1996 & remained devoted to the NY Yankees & Buffalo Bills. He was very active in sports to include playing at the local Ahwatukee Golf Club. Robert is preceded in death by his father John Dietrich Sr. & step-father Isaac Stuckey. He is survived by his mother Susanne Stuckey, step-mother Harriet Dietrich, brothers John, Bill (Sheryl), Tom & Don, nieces Amanda (Ryan), Danee Jo & Catherine, nephew Joey, and his girlfriend Jennifer. Visitation will be held Tues., April 24th from 5:00 to 7:00 pm at Lakeshore Mortuary, 1815 S. Dobson Rd., Mesa, AZ 85202. Funeral Services will be Wed., April 25th at 1:00 pm at Lakeshore Mortuary. In lieu of flowers please make donations in Robert’s name to the American Cancer Society, P.O. Box 22718, Oklahoma City, OK 73123-1718, or visit www.cancer.org. Please visit www.lakeshoreMort.com to share memories with Robert’s family.
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Bob was surrounded by friends throughout his battle. I have been as well. When I went into surgery and when I came out of surgery my three best friends were there, Tom, Brian, and Mike. It has been about 7 years ago now that I met them. We are “A Band of Brothers” for sure. When I think about all the choices each of us has made and the different life experiences that each of us had faced, for all of us to be together at that moment, when I needed them, was definitely part of a master plan, no doubt. Thank You, Tom, Brian, and Mike.

LIVING FOR THE OTHER SIDE

I have many more stories about this to share, but most importantly, I want to say thank you again to everyone that supported me, visited me, prayed for me, and took care of me. To ALL of my Friends and Family, Thank You!

This important one year anniversary is just that, one year of many to come. I somewhat feel guilty saying I am a Cancer Survivor because I didn’t have to endure  most of what fellow survivors go through. I was a lucky one for some reason, a reason that I am constantly seeking to understand. I truly believe God is working in me and through me to help me understand the true meaning of patience and forgiveness and also to help me share that meaning with others and to ensure the memory of a fellow golfing friend and cancer patient is never forgotten. I see now that He was and is teaching me some valuable life lessons; I needed to open my eyes to see them. There are many, many people out there that are struggling with Kidney Cancer that I want to give assistance too, encouragement too, and maybe, just maybe, a little bit of hope and inspiration.

My eyes have been opened to the inadequate support for Survivors, and I realized that once you are considered healed, or a survivor, that the support and assistance that was there early on, fades away. Support groups are harder to find. Financial assistance is non-existent and the “we will work with you” attitude quickly changes to “Enough is Enough, pay your bill”. [Actual statement I received had that printed in big bold letters]. Compassion? Concern? Caring? Not once you are healed. So, I intend to make a difference and I need your donations to do that. Every little bit will help. I am asking for donations, which can be made by visiting my website at http://www.CancerScars.org. I’m using this blog and my website as a way to share my story, ask for your help though donations, and maybe, just maybe, to give Help, Hope, and Inspiration to others. I want to use my network of business connections in the Health Community to set up a direct line of communication for patients that need financial assistance for bills that have accumulated. Also, to start local support groups for patients that on the outside appear 100% cured, but on the inside are still struggling.

You can further support my cause by sharing this blog and my website link with everyone you know. I have also posted a video there of a song I wrote in August 2012, called Living For The Other Side, to capture the impact that being a survivor has had on me. Give it a listen; make a donation; maybe even a “Like”; then share the link and this blog with everyone you know. With me, WYSIWYG. What You See Is What You Get. With You, We can make a difference. Thank You ~ BK – Sharing and Giving Hope To Others 1 By 1.