Category Archives: My Life Experiences

This is the primary category for this blog and contains BK’s life experiences.

What’s Ahead in 2020?

Brian Kappus
Love To All ~ BK
Brian Kappus – 2019

December 26, 2019 – Looking ahead to 2020: What a year 2019 has been. Actually, what a Decade this has been. Considering I started off the 2010 Decade facing Cancer square in the face, I wasn’t even certain if I would make it another 10 years. In 2011, I began living day-by-day. As short-term as that seems, I really had to get a grip on the reality of what I was facing. Uncertainty. That’s what it was. Now that I’ve come to terms with what I am dealing with, let me share with you my plans for 2020 and beyond!

I have learned a lot the past 10 years, 8 of them dealing with this “uncertainty.” Knowing now that living my life in this way was necessary back then, but I have come to realize that I was limiting myself on “Living”, thus I have a whole new focus for 2020. 

In 2019, through some corporate events, I got to know the folks at the National Kidney Foundation of Arizona, and I began educating myself on what they really do, and becoming more familiar with the programs they fund and support.

After seeing the good they do, let me tell you, I am “All In” when it comes to supporting the National Kidney Foundation of Arizona. This past year has led me to become heavily involved with the Foundation, and giving my time and helping raise money and awareness has been very fulfilling. I ask for your support, donate on my behalf, to benefit the National Kidney Foundation of Arizona, and help fund these important programs.

I am and will remain vigilant in 2020 on sharing my story and reminding others to take the action of getting an Annual Abdominal Ultrasound through my I Commit campaign. 

Through this campaign you can make a donation and receive reminder wristbands to share with family and friends. Also, I will be involved in a number of events in 2020, helping raise awareness and funding for the National Kidney Foundation of Arizona. Will you please consider a gift?

Here are some upcoming events:

February 8 – 2020 – Marathon #8 #bks262 – The Sprouts Mesa Marathon

I’ll be lacing up the shoes once again on Saturday, February 8, 2020 and making my way to the finish line 26.2 miles away. More info here!

February 29 – 2020 – Celebrity Dancing With The Stars Arizona 2020 #dwsaz20

Have you ever answered yes to something before you understood the reason behind the question? Well I answered “Yes” to the question: “Hey Brian, have you ever considered Ball Room Dancing?” I answered yes, it was actually a bucket list item, and oh boy… I am now a Celebrity Dancer appearing on February 29, 2020 on Dancing With The Stars Arizona 2020! #dwsaz20 Please donate and better yet, come sit at my table and support me. An Evening in Eden, February 29, 2020 – JW Marriott Phoenix Desert Ridge Resort & Spa from 6-11 pm.

March 1, 2020 – Tokyo Marathon 2020.

I was chosen as one of 6 International Employees to participate in the Tokyo 2020 Marathon. Due to a scheduling conflict with the Dancing With The Stars Arizona 2020 happening the night before, I am unable to attend. What a thrill that would have been! I’m hopeful to have an opportunity in 2021 to have a chance to participate.

April 19 – 2020 – Team Captain – National Kidney Foundation Kidney Walk – Phoenix – Join Team Phoenix in 2020

#bks262 #moretime
Team Konica Minolta – Phoenix. Photo Credit: National Kidney Foundation of Arizona. April 2019
#bks262 #moretime
Team Konica Minolta – Phoenix Photo Credit: National Kidney Foundation of Arizona April 2019

On short notice, we assembled a small but mighty team in 2019 raising just over $2,100 as the Konica Minolta Business Solutions Team Phoenix. We walked around State Farm Stadium as part of the National Kidney Walk to raise money for dialysis transportation and other programs. We will look to increase our participation from last year as we put together our Phoenix Team for April 19, 2020. Interested in joining? Send an email to bkappus@cancerscars.org and let me know and I’ll make sure you’re included in the correspondence as we begin to pull the team together. Thank you for your support!

The walk was a success for the National Kidney Foundation of Arizona, surpassing the City goal. Thank you to all of those that participated and sponsored and gave your time and money.

October – 2020 – National Kidney Foundation – Camp Counselor

In October 2019, I visited Camp Kidney as a guest along with a couple of fellow dancers from Celebrity Dancing With The Stars Arizona, 2020 and fellow NKF Konica Minolta Golf Classic Committee Members, and NKF of Arizona Staff and Friends. In October 2020, I will be volunteering as a Camp Counselor! I am excited beyond belief!

Welcome To Camp Kidney – Brian Kappus – Prescott, Arizona – October, 2019. Photo Credit: Carrie Evans Photography, National Kidney Foundation of Arizona
Camp Kidney Staff and Guests – Shadow Pines Camp – Prescott, Arizona October, 2019. Photo Credit: Carrie Evans Photography, National Kidney Foundation of Arizona

You can read more about Camp Kidney below. This program is AWESOME!

November – 2020 – NKF Konica Minolta Golf Classic – Phoenix, Arizona – National Qualifier for Pebble Beach Championship

I volunteered to sit on the National Kidney Foundation Konica Minolta Golf Classic Committee for the National  Finals Qualifier held on November 22, 2019 at Whirlwind Golf Club at Wild Horse Pass.  The event was a huge success, I even took the microphone as the Master of Ceremony. Quite an honor and a privilege for me. We had a great turnout, raising money for the National Kidney Foundation of Arizona. 

Brian Kappus. Master of Ceremony. Photo Credit: Carrie Evans Photography, National Kidney Foundation of Arizona. November, 2019

To my Friends and Family that donated and participated in the event, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support. I look forward to growing the event for 2020! Interest in sponsoring or playing in 2020, email me at bkappus@cancerscars.org.

Fellow Golfing Friends. Photo Credit Carrie Evans Photography, The National Kidney Foundation of Arizona. From Left: Mark Hermes, Jim Wolf, John Hermes, Ryan Nance – 2nd Place Gross. Center: Brian Kappus, NKF Konica Minolta Golf Classic Master of Ceremony.

2019 has been a year to remember and as I say goodbye to the 2010’s, I am so fortunate and excited for 2020 and beyond. Watch for an exciting announcement in January 2020 about partnering with The National Kidney Foundation of Arizona to continue help raise money and awareness for not only Kidney Disease, but Kidney Cancer Awareness as well!

I hope you will join me on my journey as I roll into 2020 with a head of steam and with NO UNCERTAINTY about what I’m doing and why!

~ Love to All..

BK

Welcome To The 5th Year!

BK

All Business, hardly.

October 5, 2015 – Today’s Message To Me:

Congratulations! You are a 4 year Cancer Survivor! 365 days from today you’ll have completed your initial goal and will have joined the 77% of Kidney Cancer patients that survive 5 years or more! Keep up the fight!

And so it begins, year 5! It’s been the one thing I have talked about consistently since starting my blog, and that is making it through Year 5, and I’m well on my way. If you have followed my annual post you’ll know the accomplishments I have celebrated on each anniversary date and today although a little bit different, I celebrate those accomplishments this past year and this year I celebrate me!

Why is this year different? Well, this is typically the part of the post where I say that “I’m 100% Cancer Free”. It’s a bit different this year. I didn’t want to say anything but I couldn’t ignore the elephant in the room. Right now, I cannot say with 100% certainty that I’m 100% Cancer Free, so I’ll wait. What’s going on? A couple of months ago I noticed a lump, sizable, over my collarbone on the left side of my neck. Last week, I had an ultrasound of my neck, a CT of my neck, and an ultrasound of the abdomen. Although I have yet to receive anything official from my Doctor as of today 10/5/15, it was confirmed at the time of the test that there is a mass of some sort there. I expect to hear from my Doctor one day this week and I promise I’ll post an updated as soon as I hear from him, and please, please, please don’t worry, because I am not going to. It’s business as usual for BK. I feel great, I look great, haha, but all kidding aside, I really do feel just fine!

Regardless of what is going on, I still needed to celebrate today, so I do so with the same positive attitude I have always had, mindful of how special each day is, mindful of how appreciative I am for those of you in my life, mindful to take nothing for granted, and mindful to tell those that I love that I LOVE them.

I am blessed in so many ways it is ridiculous. It’s okay to LIKE this post because this is a celebration! Here’s to the countdown to year 5!

~ Love to All..

BK

 

My 5 Year Count Up

BK

All Business, hardly.

Today, October 5, 2014, I surpass my 3rd year and now I’m rolling into year 4. What am I referring to? Survival Rate Count Up. October 5, 2014 represents 3 years of being a Kidney Cancer Survivor. It also represents a narrowing of the survival rate gap. 75% of men diagnosed with Kidney Cancer survive for 5 years. The remaining 25% is what has my attention. See, I didn’t fit the typical male that gets diagnosed with Kidney Cancer, so why should I expect to fit the typical survival rate category? In late 2011, I was just approaching my 46th birthday when I got the news. Typically men get Kidney Cancer in their 70’s, not their 40’s; which may explain the shortened survival rate. The real problem is, there just isn’t a ton of data on younger guys that get Kidney Cancer and what that survival rate is. Standford University, as well as the Kidney Cancer Organization, are working on gathering data but it’s a timed process.

As part of that data collection, in 2011, I was asked to participate in a research study being conducted by Stanford School of Medicine. I have remained active in the study and am hopeful that some light will be shed as the years go by. So, I’m counting up to that 5th year so I can transition into the 75% bucket.

I appreciate all of the Love and support from my family and friends and every year is a better year for me. Here are some highlights of what I have been able to enjoy since 2011.

~ Watching my beautiful Daughter, Megan, grow and become an awesome young woman (She’s now 19)
~ Completed 2 Marathons (2013 & 2014 Phoenix Marathon). Yes, I will probably run the 2015.
~ Met an amazing Woman, Kristie and her two girls, Nikki and Sydni
~ Celebrated my best buddy’s 50th birthday
~ Held another buddy’s (Eric and Nichole’s) newborn baby

Am I on borrowed time? I don’t know, but I do know that I enjoy each day, even the bad ones, and I know I take more notice of the little things in life, or appreciate them more is what I mean.

I’m currently involved in helping plan my surprise 50th birthday party as I prepare to reach that milestone on November 25th.

I know there are others fighting Cancer out there that have not had the good fortune I have had. I still haven’t figured out why I’m deserving of the things that I have, I just know I appreciate the hell out of them.

Here’s to making a difference 1by1 and continuing the count up to year 5.

Love to All..

~ bk

Love – That Wonderful “Thing” – If You Will Let It Be

 

Just Me!

Love – That Wonderful “Thing” – If You Will Let It Be

Isn’t Love a wonderful thing? Or in some cases the “Idea” of Love or “Falling” in Love?

    “Love is the one thing that will fill your heart with feelings so incredible that you experience Utopia, but will also shred your heart into pieces when Love doesn’t go the way you intended.” ~ BK

Intended, now that is an interesting word. If you intended to do something, then you missed the opportunity to do it. I know. It is a common communication phrase. I get it. You didn’t “intend” for me to interpret what you meant the way I interpreted it. What? See, intentions are confusing, because they are not clear actions.

How often have you said this? “Well, I intended to [fill in the blank]”. Unfortunately, intentions are empty actions. By the mere definitions of the words, it is clear that intent, intentions, intended and intending describe a state that one cannot be held accountable too, a course, and a next step, the future if you will, and does not deal with the NOW. Some see intentions as dreams, or a loose future plan, a way that things will eventually be done, a future action if you will. I actually see intentions as false actions, a lack of comfort, a way of not dealing with what is in front of you. What is your plan of action is not the same as what are your intentions. Which gives you more comfort? I intend to talk more about this later; or, I will talk more about this later?

Ok, back to my statement about Love being a wonderful thing. It CAN be a wonderful thing if you allow it to be a wonderful thing. Too many times I have rushed into a relationship because of the euphoria that the idea of Love brings. That rush of blood through your body, the excitement of the unknown, the anticipation of what is to come is almost too much to handle! It is going to be great! We are in Love! She gets me! He gets me! Most likely some of these statements have come from your mouth when you are telling your closest friend about your new Love. However, do you ever ask yourself these questions when you are first entering into a relationship? ”When will I let him or her down”? Or “What will he or she think of me when I let them down”? Most likely you have not. But wait! Aren’t those the defining times in a relationship? The times when you trip up and need to be forgiven? Or when the person that you Love trips up and needs to be forgiven? Wouldn’t it be nice to know the answers BEFORE it happens? Instead we dive right in and start riding the euphoria wave until that wave eventually runs aground. What happens when that euphoria wave suddenly ends because of something you did or didn’t do? It’s usually not good! Remember? I already told you Love has two parts. The two parts are in the indented sentence from above.

    “Love is the one thing that WILL fill your heart with feelings so incredible that you experience Utopia, BUT WILL also shred your heart into pieces when Love doesn’t go the way you intended”. ~ BK

We typically don’t even think about Love going wrong because we are programmed with the idea that Love is a Perfect Love. And, it is because we don’t think about both sides that cause more relationships to end early on, and usually badly. Think about it. He will mess up! She will mess up! Both of you will mess up! But we don’t think about that. We only think about the good because we are euphoria junkies!

Why do I know this? Because I have done it! I have done it quite often and until I sat down and started to write about this, I am sure I would have done it again. But I am smarter now. I am now armed with the knowledge that Love DEFINITELY will AND will not go the way I intended. As much as I downplayed intentions earlier, intentions are the one thing that actually makes sense in relationships, provided they are good intentions. You can’t plan Love. You have to let it happen. You set good intentions for the relationship and take actions that align with those intentions. But, I also now know that I need to think about how I better handle both sides of a relationship, from the start of the relationship. I need to know and my partner needs to know what I am willing to compromise about. Where will I draw the line when it comes to my morals and values? How will I handle being let down? How will I handle letting someone down? Since we are all individuals, there is no right or wrong answer. The only person that cares about your answer is the person that you Love and it should be talked about from the very beginning.

If you are in a new relationship, talk about it. Read this together and help each other define the answers. If you are in it together, then be in it together from the start. If you are going through a hard time with someone, sit down and talk about actions, not intentions. If they don’t know that you Love them, tell them. If you have told them you Love them, tell them you Love them again. Remember: Love IS a Wonderful “Thing”, if you will let it be. ~ BK ~ Sharing Life Experiences 1 by 1.

The Earlier Years – When You Remember What You Remember

I have learned over the course of living my life that depending on what stage of life you are in when you recall a memory, those different life stages can cause you to change your interpretation of what was really happening during the event that caused the memory. Some may describe this process as maturing.

I think we all can agree that a person matures at a different rate than they age. I know young people who are very mature for their age and I also know older people who are very immature for their age. One really has nothing to do with the other, but often is compared to each other in an attempt to try to validate if a person is legit or not. Is there such a thing as a perfect balance of age and maturity? I need to think about that one. Regardless, maturing changes your interpretation.

Different interpretations are derived from either gaining future life experiences or by finally understanding who had control of your life at the time, or perhaps both. I have to believe that others struggle with memories during periods of their life that they were not in control of. Don’t get me wrong, you are always responsible for your choices once you are old enough to be held accountable, but you were not in control of being placed in the situations nor did you control the circumstances that you were faced with when you made your choices. Yet those choices, (decisions) can affect you for many, many years. Your youth is an example of not having control, yet being held accountable.

One memory I have is from when I was eight years old. I was told to go outside and play. It was a nice summer morning so I went out to the backyard. We lived on a farm a few miles outside the City. Although we didn’t have any animals or do farming, we still referred to it as “The Farm”. Imagine a big grassy backyard with huge Oak trees towering above the roofline of a two-story little country home. One of the trees had the rope swing and others simply provided shade. There was a swing set in the backyard, the frame of it made of solid iron, and it had two swings. It was difficult to tip that swing set over.

There was plenty of room to run and play as the Oak trees formed a perimeter around the yard with the rope swing tree at one end and the swing set at the other end. After I had been playing on the rope swing for a while, my Dad comes out of the house with a football and said, “Let’s play some catch”. Already in this story there are two instances of me making choices based on others that controlled the circumstances: First I had to find something to do when I was “told” to go outside and second I chose to play catch when my dad “suggested it”. I could have said no to both or either and dealt with whatever consequences I would have faced. In 1972, that probably meant the belt and not a timeout for disobeying my Mother when she told me to go outside and of course I wanted to play catch with my Dad.

The game of catch with my Dad eventually turned into Dad playing quarterback and me being the receiver. I wasn’t a very tall kid, but I was quick and athletic. The first route was usually a simple 5 yard, across the middle pass. From there, the routes would get more complicated and the passes would get longer with the final pass usually being the “go deep” or “fly” route. We’ve played this game many times. On this particular day, we did it a little different. The first play was the 5 yard across the middle pass. Lining up on the right side of my Dad, he said “hike”, I ran up field 5 yards, cut to my left and caught the pass. The second pass however was the “go deep” pass play. I lined up on the right side of my dad and as he said “hike”, I took off running straight up the side of the backyard as fast as my legs could carry me. I had counted to four and looked over my left shoulder. The four count was our timing to know when Dad would throw the ball and when I should turn and look for the ball. I saw the ball in the air, high above me floating in a nice spiral. I was very good with depth perception and I knew I was gonna catch that ball! As I ran faster and faster looking back over my left shoulder stretching out my arms in front of me, the ball floated over my head and landed right into my hands. As I pulled the ball into my body and took another step, I turned my head just in time to run face-first into the iron swing set pole. The impact knocked me out and broke my two front teeth as well. Pretty vicious hit. I’ll add to this story later, but the choice I made to play catch that day impacted my life for 39 years and counting.

Some of you may be saying, wow, what a bad accident. Eventually, through life experiences I understood it to be an accident but because I was young at the time and didn’t have many life experiences, I blamed my parents. The biggest question that came to me time after time was why my Dad hadn’t yelled something to warn me? I don’t for one minute believe he did it intentionally, but there was no warning from him that I was running into harm’s way. I blamed my Dad for not warning me that I was going to run into the post. I blamed myself for not watching where I was going. I blamed my mother for telling me to go outside and play. Later, I learn to understand it was just an accident. I learned this through gaining future life experiences and being a parent and playing catch with my own kids. Regardless of how careful I was, I couldn’t always protect my children and accidents happened.

As a memory, the impact of this one won’t ever be forgotten. It was definitely one of those major things in life that shaped who I grew up to be. My interpretation of this memory definitely changed based on my future life experiences. That doesn’t discount that I wrestled with the memory for years and that my interpretation of that memory was always different depending on When I remembered What I remembered. Today I continue tackling memories 1 by 1.

Hello world! – Reminds me of when I learned the Basic Programming Language!

Welcome to my blog! Thank you for stopping by! Please follow me or drop me a comment to let me know you were here! Thanks!

My goal is simple: I hope you will find something from my life experiences that you can use to help understand a similar life experience you’ve had, or that will help you make the best choice when faced with something in the future. 1 by 1 stories are written. 1 by 1 stories are read. 1 by 1 they come together.

~ BK