Just Me!

Love – That Wonderful “Thing” – If You Will Let It Be

Isn’t Love a wonderful thing? Or in some cases the “Idea” of Love or “Falling” in Love?

“Love is the one thing that will fill your heart with feelings so incredible that you experience Utopia, but will also shred your heart into pieces when Love doesn’t go the way you intended.” ~ BK

Intended, now that is an interesting word. If you intended to do something, then you missed the opportunity to do it. I know. It is a common communication phrase. I get it. You didn’t “intend” for me to interpret what you meant the way I interpreted it. What? See, intentions are confusing, because they are not clear actions.

How often have you said this? “Well, I intended to [fill in the blank]”. Unfortunately, intentions are empty actions. By the mere definitions of the words, it is clear that intent, intentions, intended and intending describe a state that one cannot be held accountable too, a course, and a next step, the future if you will, and does not deal with the NOW. Some see intentions as dreams, or a loose future plan, a way that things will eventually be done, a future action if you will. I actually see intentions as false actions, a lack of comfort, a way of not dealing with what is in front of you. What is your plan of action is not the same as what are your intentions. Which gives you more comfort? I intend to talk more about this later; or, I will talk more about this later?

Ok, back to my statement about Love being a wonderful thing. It CAN be a wonderful thing if you allow it to be a wonderful thing. Too many times I have rushed into a relationship because of the euphoria that the idea of Love brings. That rush of blood through your body, the excitement of the unknown, the anticipation of what is to come is almost too much to handle! It is going to be great! We are in Love! She gets me! He gets me! Most likely some of these statements have come from your mouth when you are telling your closest friend about your new Love. However, do you ever ask yourself these questions when you are first entering into a relationship? ”When will I let him or her down”? Or “What will he or she think of me when I let them down”? Most likely you have not. But wait! Aren’t those the defining times in a relationship? The times when you trip up and need to be forgiven? Or when the person that you Love trips up and needs to be forgiven? Wouldn’t it be nice to know the answers BEFORE it happens? Instead we dive right in and start riding the euphoria wave until that wave eventually runs aground. What happens when that euphoria wave suddenly ends because of something you did or didn’t do? It’s usually not good! Remember? I already told you Love has two parts. The two parts are in the indented sentence from above.

“Love is the one thing that WILL fill your heart with feelings so incredible that you experience Utopia, BUT WILL also shred your heart into pieces when Love doesn’t go the way you intended”. ~ BK

We typically don’t even think about Love going wrong because we are programmed with the idea that Love is a Perfect Love. And, it is because we don’t think about both sides that cause more relationships to end early on, and usually badly. Think about it. He will mess up! She will mess up! Both of you will mess up! But we don’t think about that. We only think about the good because we are euphoria junkies!

Why do I know this? Because I have done it! I have done it quite often and until I sat down and started to write about this, I am sure I would have done it again. But I am smarter now. I am now armed with the knowledge that Love DEFINITELY will AND will not go the way I intended. As much as I downplayed intentions earlier, intentions are the one thing that actually makes sense in relationships, provided they are good intentions. You can’t plan Love. You have to let it happen. You set good intentions for the relationship and take actions that align with those intentions. But, I also now know that I need to think about how I better handle both sides of a relationship, from the start of the relationship. I need to know and my partner needs to know what I am willing to compromise about. Where will I draw the line when it comes to my morals and values? How will I handle being let down? How will I handle letting someone down? Since we are all individuals, there is no right or wrong answer. The only person that cares about your answer is the person that you Love and it should be talked about from the very beginning.

If you are in a new relationship, talk about it. Read this together and help each other define the answers. If you are in it together, then be in it together from the start. If you are going through a hard time with someone, sit down and talk about actions, not intentions. If they don’t know that you Love them, tell them. If you have told them you Love them, tell them you Love them again. Remember: Love IS a Wonderful “Thing”, if you will let it be. ~ BK ~ Sharing Life Experiences 1 by 1.